What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

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A horse cantered into a bar.

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 ate a dude's face.

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what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

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Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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