What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

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Penis in a butthole. Consentual Sex.

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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one day four teenage boys started doing drugs. They jumped off a cliff and died.

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What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

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how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Probably just one.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 has been charged on 3 accounts of 2nd degrees murder and 6 fears for his life.

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whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

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Not Steve Jobs

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? There are certainly innumerable differences, but, in general, humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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Garry Glitters on here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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