What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

I'm going to Re-write History... History

Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

Why do gay guys like push pops? Because they are a delicious lollipop treat.

I lost my tractor.

What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

How many dead kittens can you fit into a trunk? -19

A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

motley crew

Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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