How do you stop the unstoppable You dont

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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what do you watch ? a tv

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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Hearpin my durp

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

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Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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