Women's rights

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Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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Weiner

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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What do you call the black president? Mr.President

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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what's really good and is on TV Jersey Shore

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What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

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What did one llama say to the other llama when they were on vacation? I filled our luggage with orphan meat because i'm building a meat dragon and not just any meat will do.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, Mitchell ate it before it could do so.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops