GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

thumb_up thumb_down -61

what do you call a white man surround by a bunch of black men in prison a congraulation ceromony (and gang rape) pppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Your mama's so fat she can't have children.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake!

thumb_up thumb_down -75

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Knock, knock (No one was home)

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

thumb_up thumb_down +60

You might be a Redneck...if your job requires you to work long hours out in the sun and you do not take advantage of sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops