A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

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If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

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What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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can't wait until the baby boomers die

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two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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