why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

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A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm about to kill you Don't scream, here's a lollipop

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Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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How much dirt was in a hole that was 6 feet wide and 6 feet deep? None. It's a hole.

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What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops