how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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alex h is such a ginger, that her hair downstairs is red.

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

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roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

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What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

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N

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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69

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What do you call a Chinese man flying plane? A pilot.

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Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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