Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

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Electronic Arts is a respectable company.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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watashi no namae wa ramune desu

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A man is talking nonsense at a wall when another man walks up to him. "Why are you talking at a wall?" "I'm trying to appease the mighty wall god Kaleothayrhonka." "Cool, let me join you!" And they both talk at the wall for hours on end because they are stupid that way.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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I was going to tell my mom an anti-joke. Then she died.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having sexaual relations with your own mother.

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Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

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Mitt Romney.

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Which is correct grammar: 'I hasn't a penis got' or 'I doesn't a penis has'? Answer: They're both wrong.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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Your mom.

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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