Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

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You wanna hear a JOKE ?!! Justin Bieber has a DlCK !!!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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1 Jew XD

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Don't you spell Pewdiepies name like "Pewdipie" than Pew-die-pie? Like who wants to kill a pie?

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Do you know why children in Africa don't read Harry Potter too much? Because they can't read.

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Toaster

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i saw your mom, i said hi

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Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

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A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

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What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette was stranded on a deserted island. A genie appeared and said nothing, because genies doesn't exist

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Tuberculosis

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Alt F4

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops