What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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I like pom

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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