A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

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What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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Hippopatomous!

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A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Wanna hear a joke? Joe Jonas.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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