What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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what do you do if you see an asian trip on a step? help him/her up and ask if their alright.

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What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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penis hehehehe

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What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

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two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

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What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

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Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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