I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Womens' rights.

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How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

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100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

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Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

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Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

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where are you?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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So a black and mexican go to the foodstore to get foodstamps.the end

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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