Why did the elephant fall out of the tree Because the post man threw a fridge at it

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Obama

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Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

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Womens' rights.

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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