Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

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Knock Knock Who's there Bannana O He lives next door

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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What is another word for a woman that ends in unt. Aunt.

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What happened to the baby that wondered into oncoming traffic? It got hit by a truck.

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How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

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what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Bird jokes are not funny! Crow up!

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's who? Knock knock!

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

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Q: What is black and hangs from a tree? A: Kevin Towers

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops