Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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Why are Asians so smart? Because they study

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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your mom is so poor that now your family is at risk of losing there home

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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how to you kill a black man. with a weapon.

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What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

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What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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hi michael

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Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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Buy one packet of condoms for the price of two packets of condoms, and you will be given a second packet of condoms ABSOLUTLEY FREE!

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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Where did Martha go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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