How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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Three blondes walk into a community college.

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Knock knock whos there punctuation

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

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Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

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wanna hear a joke? not really

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

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I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

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What's worse than a rainy day? Dropping the soap

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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