Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

Oh. So his name's Brandon.

Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

What do the holocaust and 9/11 have in common? They were both terrible tragedies that people will look back upon in sadness for years.

Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

Can you see this brett? Connor

women outside of the kitchen

Why did the white comedian get booed off stage? Because his jokes were humorless and offensive.

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...