What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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How did the dragon get AIDS? He had sex with an HIV positive dragon months prior.

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Six million.

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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What's red, white, and black all over? A panda shot and killed by a poacher.

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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A friend asks his buddy, "Hey, what's your favorite color?" Buddy slowly turns his head and stares intensely at the only black person in the room and says," "White." Buddy has never been called racist.

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What's fast and white ? A chicken after you hit it going 100mph

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Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag? No, because plastic bags are man-made inanimate objects.

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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whats the differnce between a corvette and a pile of dead babies??? i dont have a corvette in my garage.

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How do you make Al Gore cry? Kill his daughter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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