My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

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Why did the girl die? No one knows.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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why was the man gay? because he likes men.

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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Women

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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nine...eleven

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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whats retarded and looks like a fat duck? GEorge goodburn

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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Do you know what big feet mean. Big socks

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A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

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GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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