How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

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What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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Fire extinguishers are sexy.

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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