Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

thumb_up thumb_down +3

No it isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worst that the Holocaust? Another one.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the vegetarian lose her foot? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the old man fall off a bicycle? He had a fridge thrown at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many pieces of bling does it take to ruin a rap song? Just Two Chainz

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops