Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

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How did the fat man die? Type 2 diabetes

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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What"s the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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i tped this with my toiung. now i hve germs

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A Priest in a Rabbi walk into a bar. They talk about religion.

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what was sad about six black guys driving off a cliff in a cadallac? They were my friends

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Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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Why can't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

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Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

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Why is my car broken? Because I drove it into a wall.

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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whats blue and fluffy? your mothers chest hair!

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Whats worse than receiving a dollar? Receiving a penny.

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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