According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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George Bush.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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