mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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Wheelchair high jump

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

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GINGER PEOPLE

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What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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what's red and blue? your heart

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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Q: why are black people so good at basketball? A: because the can shoot and steal:)

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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what do you call a black man being hung from a tree? -prejudice

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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penis hehehehe

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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