What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

Women's Rights.

Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

What happened to Jim. He died his funeral is tomorrow.

The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

How much does a mexican immigrant get paid? Less an minimum wage.

poop

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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