A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

how do you get a emo kid out of a tree? cut him down get it: because he was depressed and so poor that he couldn't afford a hair cut or new clothes. he also had single mother whose boyfriend sexually abused him so he was confused about his sexuality. Then people just called him "emo" and said he was acting out so they ignored him and he never gave him help when he asked for it because they said he just wanted attention so he killed himself

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.

Zach Murfitt has a huge penis! Lol jk he has an inchy stryder

Asians are ugly and they look they have down syndrome.

Dani Barton is a heart breaking 13 yr old.

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

A 36 year old Canadian woman.

I just found out that you can dislike or like something by clicking the thumbs up or down

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

co jo kurwa tocza?

Q:Whats funny? A:Genocide

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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