Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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Why did he die? He was sick.

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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Hi.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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Why did the baby die? I killed it.

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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