Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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Yo momma so fat, people snicker as they walk past her, quietly laughing at a women obviously struggling with obesity. They then proceed to stop laughing, as they realize that their mother died from diabetes. They then proceed to move on with their day.

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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what's worse than finding out god isn't real? finding out he is

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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