Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down +6

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops