2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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