A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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What is black but also yellow? A song.

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- Knock Knock - who's there? - Gestapo! open the door!

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What did Billy get for christmas? Nothing he died of lung cancer.

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Your Mom

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours being in a zoo But don't worry I'll be there too Behind the bars, laughing at you

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Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face pa pa poker face!!!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

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Will you marry me?

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Why was Jim gay? Because he liked penis.

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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