How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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