Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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Susie has Autism

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Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

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what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

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Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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