Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

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Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

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One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

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Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Knock Knock No one answers....

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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I scream. You scream. We all scream.

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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