Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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http://www.ladsta.com

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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I can't think of a joke!

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Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

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A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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Haha

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hey i just meet you and this is crazy but i picked out our wedding cake and named our 4 future children :-)))))))

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

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Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

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Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

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What is a dinosaurs favorite chips? Doritos.

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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Two horses, a man with a tall bun, three lesbians, an African woman and another man wearing a clown suit come up to you in your work outfit and shriek:"Happy Casual Friday!" Okay, so maybe this went too far.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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