Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +30

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

thumb_up thumb_down +28

timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anne Frank.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops