- Anti Joke

What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

potato farming

What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................a gay baby was just born.

whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

A simple country boy and a hugely attractive young blonde sit in the same train carriage. They exchange greetings and pleasentaries, but are quiet for the remainder of the journey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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