What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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shut up

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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http://anti-joke.com/

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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NEVER

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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You know George Washington? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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