- Anti Joke

what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

minced oaths

A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

Black people are clen.

A baby seal walks into a club.

A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

Unflushed Shit...

Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the fkg face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

Tim's gay.

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

do you know what's so funny? yup

Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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