What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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Women's Rights

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What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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Write your own

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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96

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A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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What's black and white and red all over? A cow being processed

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So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

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Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

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Hey, Max!!

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I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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