are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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where do the women go? the womanarium

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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I am a real homosexual

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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dog

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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