whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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Justin Bieber

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

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Obama.

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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I am a real homosexual

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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Penis in a box.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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