A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -24

knock knock Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

My mom's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -32

-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +69

whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

thumb_up thumb_down +67

What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what is white and sticky? glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops