Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

thumb_up thumb_down +23

your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

thumb_up thumb_down +23

jewish people like other jewish people.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

your mother is so lesbian

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Tim's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Pandas Everywhere!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops