Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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dead babies

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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your mother is so lesbian

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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Obama.

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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