what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

SAY

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the chicken cross the road? because the light was green

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I am a real homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops