Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...