A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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i fondle myself every night....

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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